Fuck-You Heels

It astonishes this writer when people feel the need to remonstrate with high-heeled footgear when it is quite clear that a simple attitude adjustment will repair them of any ill-will borne toward these articles.

People should not wear heels because they want to appear fuckable.  People should really be wearing 7-inch nightmares because they want to fuck everyone else up.  There is a lovely air of aggression in wearing 5-inch Jeffery Campbells on a blustery Edmontonian winter’s day, and it certainly makes mincing over the icy sidewalks that much more satisfying.

So suck it up, Edmonton. No more hedging about the unfavorable heel conditions– let’s start bring these bitches to heel.

Gold-Dot-shoes-Honey-Platforms-(Black)-010604

Gold Dot Platforms @ Chem Lab Clothing ($150 CDN)

Much love,

The Chemist

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Tits-Up!

A regrettable turn of phrase, perhaps, particularly for a baby business venture, but it made you click on this post….you pervy bastard you.

Photography: Botos Photos

Photography: Botos Photos

There is much ado made about breasts in the media and whether it’s about the gender-specific discourse they inspire or the salacity they elicit from close readers of celebrity magazines, human mammary glands are not leaving the spotlight anytime soon. Or…ever.  In fact, if you will consider the Artemis of Ephesus, I think we’ve come a rather long way since that earlier fascination with tits.

Photo credit: Wikipedia

Photo credit: Wikipedia

Here’s our take on breast worship– Chromat’s titillating (too much? Too much…) cone bra cage, which perfectly delivers on garnering attention towards your breasts without necessarily having to expose them to gentle viewers.  Furthermore, the cage occupies space otherwise not inhabited by one’s bosom, thus positively augmenting the reputation of one’s own chest.

….This article was fun. :D

At any rate, you will be happy to learn that we have a Chromat cone bra cage available! Will fit up to 34 A. Pricing available soon!

Cheerio,

Chem Lab

Photographer: Botos Photos

Photographer: Botos Photos

Photographer: Botos Photos

Photographer: Botos Photos

Photographer: Botos Photos

Photographer: Botos Photos

Encaged

Any mention of fashion harnesses is enough to make me ebullient (granted, functional harnesses are also something to be commended, in their way…).  There is something unsettling about seeing a harness worn– whether this is residual of the fetish subculture of which they were borne or the obvious restriction they impose on the wearer, the presence of a harness always gives me pause.

http://chromatgarments.com/

Photo credit: Chromat

As limiting as a harness can be, it can also provide wonderful contours, spatially occupying areas the wearer would customarily not populate.  Think of garter and peplum belts– they add flattering curves to the lower body while emphasizing a narrower top.

Photo credit: Vaga Magazine

Photo credit: Vaga Magazine

Previously harnesses have been worn in conjunction with PVC, leather, and latex.  These days, however, thanks to the popularity of the item, people have begun to wear them with more mundane articles, such as a plain tank top or sweater– the juxtaposition proves to be just as breath-taking.  So strap yourself in this season and prepare to titillate the public!

Pip pip,

the chemist

An Invitation to Experiment

Photo by Bradley Hartzler//MUA: Bogdana Miron

Photo by Bradley Hartzler//MUA: Bogdana Miron

Fashion in Edmonton these days is a far departure from the era of Ugg boots and Victoria’s Secret sweatpants. Granted, there will be times when either the weather or our humors will influence us to be more partial towards such…articles but for now, the good people of Edmonton are embracing the whimsical and irrational.

Aldo is selling gold wire bunny ears and horned caps.

BCBG/Max Azria is eliciting their shopgirls to squeeze leather harnesses over their mannequins.

…..It’s a very lovely time.

So here we are before you, petitioning you to do the same.  Imbibe the stares and whispers– it’s heady stuff.

Pip pip,

the chem lab

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